Sasak Lombok Wedding, Kidnapping your future wife!?

Sasak Lombok Wedding, Kidnapping your future wife!?


The wedding in Lombok is not arranged, boys and girls can choose by them self as long as they love each other. When they have decided to get married, the boy must kidnap the girl. In Lombok, kidnapping to married is a must. So there is no need to ask and visit the girl’s house for approval. When a family has no new about the girl for more then 1 day it means the girl is kidnapped for a wedding,

This culture is very unique and it is done only by Sasak people. To kidnap a girl is more accepted by the girl’s family. Kidnapping is an honor, telling us how to respect the girl and how the value the culture itself. The girl is not allowed to be  directly removed from the boy’s house. She must stay in the boy’s family house for a while.

Two days after the boy’s family will send someone to visit the girl’s family to inform them that their daughter has been kidnapped and to let them know the condition of the girl. But never tell them the exact place of where she is, this part of the culture is called “NYELABAR”.

The next part is “NUNTUT WALI” on a decided day the boy’s family will come and visit the girl’s house, to discuss more about the wedding day, all the expenses and many others. On this process we need the consultant or middle man, because not everybody is able to talk about the ceremony fluently. Sometimes the girl’s family is happy, sometimes they are not happy at all. That is why you need the consultant, to help the boy’s family to handle the situation.


The next part is “NGAWINANG” this is the wedding day, this is the main ceremony. Islam is the majority of Lombok population. So, they arrange the wedding based on the Islam policy, most of the times the ceremony will be done in a mosque.

The last part is “NYONGKOLAN”. Nyongkolan is the procession of the new couple with their friends walking to the bride house around 1 km. People who join the procession must wear a Sasak uniform. Local band music normally joins as well. By this procession the new couple can be introduced to the public. The participants normally bring agriculture production, like vegetables, rice, fruits and these goods will be given to the bride’s family. Normally the Nyongkolan procession is celebrated in the weekend,  and sometimes it causes long traffic jams!

/// Written by Adi Riswadi, Indonesia